Guess what the worst movie to come out this summer is...

THE MUMMY!!! Yup, if you haven't guessed by now, this film hasn't even come out yet but with my super sharp Miss Cleo predictions I'm pretty sure that I'm 100% correct about this. What could make you want to stay at home more? This movie, that's what.

I think that I watched the first one in the 90's or whenever that crap came out because I snuck in for free (what a waste of my time although it was free and wasting time, so I guess it's what I wanted). But once they came out with 2-13 it started to get a little out of control, kinda like R Kelly's trapped in the closet videos (I believe that there are 32 of those), find it on YouTube. But honestly guys, it's gotten to that point that I really can't STAND when bad movies come out. It's ALWAYS in the summer time, and also usually around the holidays. It's always the same recycled plots of crap. I blame all the "research" and "case studies" on what marketers think that audiences will like. I'm sick of it man.

Lets be honest though about one sad part of all these movies: Brandon Fraiser.

Can any of you honestly say that you've seen him in other movies and were BLOWN away in a good way? ............still thinking about it right?....it's because the answer is NO. The last time he did anything good, he wasn't saying anything and he was a caveman in Encino Man with Pauly Shore (WTF happened to him either?).

Moral: There's still crap out there, be careful that you don't get stuck watching it

Where have all the good FEMALE MC's gone!!!?????

My roommate and I were talking about something that's come up before in the last few years in the world of HIP HOP (yes I'm still obsessed with the concert from Sunday night, don't judge me). Anyways, we were talking about the dying breed of the TRUE female MC. Last time I checked MC Lyte and Queen Latifah were the ONLY good ones left that weren't throwing SEX around in everyones face. Then came Missy; I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE me some Missy. You can't sit still when one of her songs comes on, am I wrong? She has goofy yet great lyrics and she carries herself very well, she takes SMART risks. As for the OTHERS that have tried to step onto the scene...well I just don't know what to say except WOMP WOMP. It's like everyone is now just a shadow of the GOOD ones.

The record labels want only ONE female MC on their roster because if there were more than one (GOD forbid...said sarcastically), what would they do with themselves? How would they market them? Turns out that most of the ones that came out when I was in high school [ex: Lil Kim, Foxy Brown and Trina] were straight up HOES. Those aren't ladies, they're tricks that play games. And they constantly have to talk about themselves as if they're the sh**. This goes back to my theory about people that have to tell you something about themselves. If you have to tell others that you're a "player" or "ballin" etc. etc. then it just means that you're the EXTREME opposite of just that, you're a BAMMA (ask someone from MD/ DC/ VA for the definition of that word if you're lost).

If you know of ANY good female MC's out there, PLEASE let me know. I need one to bless my ears. Thanks folks! :-)

Moral: There is good in this world, you just have to seek it. Don't think that it will fall onto your lap overnight.

I miss REAL HIP HOP!!!!

Last night was probably one of THE BEST days and nights I've had in awhile. You're probably thinking to yourself, "oh Semra must have finally gotten some last night" and you're WRONG Scotty. In fact it was much more satisfying than S-E-X could EVER be....or really really close to the great kind ;-)

I got to go to the ROCK THE BELLS TOUR, all day festival full of old school and new school hip hop, but with better lyrics, vibes, people etc. etc. etc. There was ONE dirty south style beat that was played and MOS DEF was the person that did that so he could get away with it since he's so diverse with his style. No seriously, Mos Def is literally the ONLY person that's not from the dirty south that CAN make this seem as natural as Madonna's face lift.

Lets go over who I saw and why I can't go to ANY other mainstream concerts for a long time, this one took the ENTIRE CAKE fatty McGee!!!

- Tribe Called Quest

- Mos Def

- NAS

- The Pharcyde

- MethodMan & Redman

-GhostFace Killah & Raekwon

- De La Soul

- Rakim

- Immortal Technique

- Dead Prez

- Jay Electronica

- DJ Green Lantern

- Wale

- DJ Afrika Bambaataa

MANY MANY MORE, but those were the acts that I saw ALL DAY LONG.

Now tell me that I didn't go to sleep without a smile on my face knowing that I can change the world :-) (thanks NAS)

Moral: HIP HOP is one of the only cultures that can effectively impact the community, just like MOS DEF once said, "in order to know where hip hop is going, we gotta ask ourselves, where am I going, how am I doing?"

PORN.....4 gold stars from me

I'm sorry because I normally watch better quality shows than this, but I was watching the Tyra Banks show while I was online applying to my future education / employment. The show was about the porn industry and Tyra took two seperate groups of women; one side was women who were stay at home mothers or adult virgins and then the OTHER side where women who either LOOOOVE watching porn, or feel that its fine as long as they're with their boyfriends watching it etc.

Well as you can guess, the stay at home moms were not MILFs or anything like that, they flat out thought that porn was nasty and hated it; the other group felt totally different about it and liked it. The entire group was subjected to watching and rating different styles of porn together in a room while sipping on tea and they had an old man butler (AWESOME if I may say so myself). How awkward is that though? A room full of women who already are coming from different life choices and they're sitting in a living room sipping tea watching porn on a GIANT TV and rating it. I guess this beats out my senior year college finals party I hosted at my apartment titled: PIZZA, BEER & PORN. haha.....yes this is all true, I did this and I didn't own ANY porn at that time (I had to borrow it from my guy friends who owned endless amounts of it....now.....the tables have turned and the industry has my credit card. WOMP WOMP WOMP WHAAAAAA

Anyways, they did an analysis of the porn industry (which I've done before in my womens study course while in college; there was a section where we covered the porn industry believe it or not). Tyra invited women who direct or write scripts for the porn industry, or produce their own style of porn. Then the coolest job ever was this chick who came in and RATES PORN FOR A LIVING!!! I'm sure that she's completely immune to it with everything that she's watched, but she's one of those people that sit on a panel for the PORN INDSTURY AWARD SHOWS that they host in LA and Vegas (surprised???.....exactly, not at all right?). I'm sure that she gets paid a pretty penny too because the porn industry IS one of the countries highest paying "fields." It may not seem to be "morally" right, but there's a reason that it's making so much money in this completely "pure" style country we live in.

Moral: go watch some porn, it won't hurt you and at least it keeps you from going out and getting an STD or worse, AIDS.

White people don't age well compared to other races....

There has been a massive amount of news coverage on Mc.Cain's age (he's 71 folks), and the more I've seen him interviewed on late night talk shows I've realized something that I never really focused on until now.....white people (particularly men) don't age well. I'm not talking about anyone that has whitish skin, I'm talking about full blown whitties here. You may be saying to yourself, "Semra, you're white you know" and YES, thank you for this amazing thought driven statement, I am white (even though my family in Turkey has olive skin and I got the white gene from my moms family in Norway). I'll age just fine, because I've got all sorts of crazy genes in my blood. If I were Irish or something, I wouldn't be able to say the same thing.....again I digress....my focus is on white men, specifically John McCain. I think that he's gotten older in the past 8 months, and not just a little bit, it's as if he's gained 4 years in age in the past few months. I'm not sure that he'll make it to November for our votes.

This is extremely interesting to me, especially when you look at someone like Pharrell Williams who hasn't aged over the age 16 for the past 20 years (did you know that he's actually 45?). He will always look like a little boy. I'm not sure that I like that either though, if you were to decide on someone that doesn't age EVER and one that ages per second, which one would you pick? You're probably thinking of that scene in Big Daddy where Adam Sandler goes, "but he's OLD....with his old balls and old D*** and he's just OLD" and that's probably going to be the first veto (old man)....and.......you probably SHOULD pick someone that doesn't age. Although then folks would think that you're their parent and not their partner, so is THAT fun? Nope. I think I've given you a no win question here, so I'll give you an easy question and answer:

What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!!!!!

Moral: Rick James always wins..............always, except when it comes to drugs, apparently he LOST to that one.

Bay Bayz kids can NOT go to the movies, cuz I SAY SO!!!

So, as I'm in my recovery stages of being robbed of internal organs (aka: my GB....."Gallbladder"), I would simply LOOOOVE to share my story and pet peeves with you. My top pet peeve happened to me while I was trying to watch WANTED at the theatre that's closest to my apartment this weekend. I'm not a big fan of public theatres for several reasons:

1) loud ass teenagers that act SOOO much harder than they really are (I'm always waiting for an adult to beat the SH** out of one of them for talking sh** to the adult, I hope I have my camera with me when that goes down) YOU TUBE...YES PLEASE!

2) the price of ANY food item once you get inside

3) the fat person that ends up sitting next to me eating Chipotle burritos making the theatre STANK LIKE SH**!

4) folks STILL talking on their cell phones, or ANSWERING them when the movies start (not during previews cuz I could really give a sh** when those are playing for the first 20 minutes)

5) the fact that there are COMMERCIALS being played instead of upcoming movie previews inside the theatre....apparently you CAN'T escape them when you leave your TV at home either.

But the TOP reason that I HATE going to the theatre is when some ghetto ass folks bring their new born baby to a rated R film at 10pm on a week night! 'You've GOT to be sh**ing me' you might be saying out loud to yourself right now (or you can relate to this right along with me)....but YES folks, I encountered one of "those" moments where my jaw dropped as her and her "man" looked for a seat in the dark to watch WANTED with me and my friend that was with me. It's the same feeling you get when you're on an airplane and you get that middle seat for three and there's a person falling asleep on your shoulder droiling on one side, and on the other is an EXTREMELY fat person that can't keep it all together in their seat.....SAME FEELING folks.

Now a good friend of mine reminded me that 'stereotypes are great time savers' and honestly at moments like THAT ONE, I have to say...the black race lost 2 points from me again. Somebody please make these points back up so the races can even out again....throw in a white trash piece of news...ANYTHING, just please stop making the, "bringing your new born baby to a voilent rated R film late at night to a movie theatre" a predicted action that happens when I go out to see a movie. I BEG YOU!!!!

On an extremely random side-note, Puffy was doing shots of Vodka with Ellen D. here's the clip:

PUFFY AND ELLEN TAKING SHOTS

Moral: Stop living up to your stereotypes, no matter what race you are....STOP IT

Who's uglier than Lil Wayne? And new Reality show Queen Bee's

Ok, so there have ALWAYS been ugly talented people in this world. It's part of what humans are all about, it's God's balance. So when an attractive person truly has talent, we can all be in complete shock and say, "talent AND beauty!? what a double threat" hahaha ;-)

This leads me into the world of hip hop and all the ugly folks that have paved this path. I will start with that guy that everyone remembers from childhood who sang "Do the Humpty Hump."

Folks, there was a time in Hip Hop where artists didn't have a bunch of models in the background hanging over cars in this half porn fantasy world, it was just a regular guy with the thick black reading glasses with a plastic nose attached and sometimes a thick handle-bar mustash too. There were truly ugly yet powerful rappers a well, prime example is KRS-One. That's a good one to start with, unlike LL COOL J, who as we all know doesn't need to borrow Lil Mama's LIP GLOSS (I still can't believe that's a song). And lets not forget about our lil homie Lil Wayne, with his creative lyrics but nasty grimmy looks. He looks like a troll with dreads. HANDS DOWN. Please don't argue with me about this one because I'm right.

Onto other crazy news, I just read this morning in the Washington Post about a new program (more so another REALITY TV show, shocker!), that's called Queen Bee. Prize money is $25,000. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not A LOT of money especially with the amounts that other reality TV shows are running up against. I just find it rediculous in all honesty. But I DO love to watch other peoples drama unfold etc. This show is for girls gone bad that try to do good and win the money from that. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I already thought that there was a show about that (minus the cash) called the BAD GIRLS CLUB.........

I'm not impressed.

Moral: People will do anything for money....ANYTHING!