Pointless Conversations in the Office

We've all been through this, but I find them particularly annoying,...pointless conversations in the office. There's always someone in your office that seems to either want to be part of your life, or has non of their own and wants to know what you're doing for the weekend (not that they're trying to hang out with you either, they just want to know your business because they're nosey or want to compare your life to theirs outside of the office). I don't care for these types of, "office folk" personally, and there's A LOT of you out there that share this exact same feeling.

When I started working in an office I never once thought to myself that I was going to become friends with anyone here beyond an OFFICE friendship (totally different than an actual friend), you just end up having to tolorate certain conversations...which are ALL pointless.

Every Monday you get the "how was your weekend?" questions from people that you don't care about. Nobody actually cares about how YOUR weekend was, they're just talking for the sake of hearing their own voice, and when they need something from you they will feel like they have the right to ask you for things later on. I hate this.

Then on Friday you get the "what are you getting into this weekend?" question...again, they don't care. They want to know how much more boring your weekend will be compared to theirs. This is why you should never engage in these conversations, just let them fall to the floor and give the one word short and simple answers that are EXTREMELY general.

Q: How was your weekend?

A: it was great.

Q: What are you getting into this weekend?

A: a lot.

There's my office lesson to you. Use those answers whenever you feel the need to get everyone away from you. It shuts down POINTLESS CONVERSATIONS quickly. Trust me, I'm a pro at this.

Moral: not everyone was made to be your friend

Solange Knowles,... Bamma of the Week

Did anyone else see that clip of Solange Knowles snap at the anchor of FOX news in Las Vegas this past week? No??....well you're in for a treat my friends. The best part is that you don't even have to wait for it. She's so classy she tells it how it is within the first 20 seconds of the interview...and then realizes that she just made the biggest bamma move of her life.

Solange's BAMMA moment this week

Solange....you are the biggest BAMMA of the WEEK WEEK WEEK!!!!

Moral: If you have hate in your heart let it out

Cereal Industry....FAIL

I feel sorry for two things in life-

One: Kids now get some of the worst "toys" ever in their cereal boxes

Two: There clearly must be an increase in obese fatty McGee kids roaming the grocery stores / fast food restaurants etc. etc. etc.

I popped open a fresh new box of Frosted Flakes (it's the sh**), this morning before I headed to this dead end job of mine, and saw that there was a prize in there (yippy). You know what the prize was? A f**king step pace logging device!!! It counts how much you walk by tracking each step. I think that it's their subliminal way to tell kids that they need to get their mini me fat a**es outside and use their pace marker.

Can we be real for a second? How suck a** is that? What kid wants that? I mean give them one of those Speed Racer cars or something. A PACE MARKER!??? Who does that? Apparently Frosted Flakes,...that's who.

I'm so glad I grew up in the 80's. BIG WHEELS for adults!!! It's coming soon folks...don't you worry your pretty little heads.

Moral: marketing teams in the cereal industry really need to pick up their prize game. These aren't cutting it AT ALL.

Why I need a new job

I've mentioned to you before how much homeless people like me. They are drawn to me like moths to a flame. Last week about 45 minutes before I was about to close shop, this confused older Asian lady wonders into my companies lobby (nothing abnormal, we have many confused looking people that wonder throughout this building, it's high class like that). Anyways, she comes into the lobby and begins to attempt to speak english. But before that, let me paint a picture for you about what she looked like.

-Spice Girl platform shoes (black)

-early 90's floral cut off jean shorts, capri length (floral, meaning there were pastel flowers all over them)

-tight nylon aqua blue J-Lo scoop top with a matching tight fitting nylon shirt underneath it, sprinkled with diamonds as if bedazzled threw up all over her top

-matching painted on blue eye shadow (completely 80's rocker style)

-fire engine red lipstick (some of it landing on her front teeth)

-F**KED up teeth (as if each tooth was trying to high five the one next to it)

NOW, I will continue. So she comes into the lobby and starts speaking jibberish that I can't understand AT ALL. She starts asking about jobs we have here, which I quickly respond ("we don't have anything open except internships"), she has no idea what an internship is, but all of a sudden when I tell her that, she goes, "yes, I want one of those." I then tell her that she has to have been enrolled in a University for at least 3 years....she asks me where to enroll and if she can do it at our radio station...................*silence*.........I tell her that Montgomery College is only a few blocks away and she should look into that, although it's not a 4 year University and you must be a senior, or junior to enroll into our internship program. She doesn't know what I'm telling her and I already know this before I even open my mouth. But I have 45 minutes to kill on a Friday so I think, what the heck, I mind as well use it up completely. She asks me what my name is and I tell her, she giggles and then goes, "you Japanese???" with a very serious face all of a sudden. I respond (thinking to myself, should I play along with this?) but then think of her suddenly speaking to me in Japanese, which I only know how to say hello and goodbye in...so I pass and tell her the truth about my name.

I ask her if she wants to fill out an application anyways for an internship here. She does and is very excited. I give her the packet and smile. I'm an asshole, I already know this. This packet takes a normal person 20 minutes to complete on average.....with her, she completes it within 10 minutes (amazing)....but it's also because only the following information is included in her response to questions.

-What is your name (now keep in mind that she's Korean)

A: Monika Peace

- Do you go by any other names

A: Lee Jonja (Nam)

- Are you currently employed

A: no

-Do you have the legal right to work in the US

A: no

(shocker)

- Employment Experience

A: Tri Graphic (Rockville, MD) no clue what this place is, but I should try googling it and see if such a place is even real or not.

-Education

A: Soap Girls High School

(no sh**.....she's a KEEPER, HANDS DOWN!)

she then asked if this was an internship for Korean Radio and Dance.........I wish I was making all of this up, but there's no way I'm that creative.

I can't wait to see if she comes back and there will be a PART 2 to the blog if she does....PLEASE BELIEVE IT!

Moral: Crazy is, as crazy does

Batman was at my grandma's house!!!

Yes folks, you heard right. Batman was straight up at my grandma's house for the past three nights. She told me herself. So what does this mean for me? Well apparently our little friend Batman decided to have some kids and teach them how to fly at night in my grandma's bedroom (not cute), so my aunt, my mom, and myself (as well as my grandma), had to walk all around the house looking in vents and all sorts of fun places to look for this sick-son-of-a-bitch of a bat so it wouldn't attack my poor grandma at night.

Well after sitting outside in a beach chair in front of my grandma's house for 2 f***ing hours staring directly at the vent that the bat may (or may not) fly out of at night...I came to realize a few things:

1) I looked like a hick

2) this plan was NOT going to work

3) don't they have companies that you can call up to do this for you???

4) watching my mom walk around my grandma's house with a broom hitting the walls and everything in site is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. That will be found on YouTube when you type in "Semrific" as your search.

Not only was I the last person on earth that was helpful in this situation, but there was also pretty much NOTHING that I could control or do and I wasted just about 5 hours with my mom, aunt and grandmother doing literally NOTHING. Just sitting there outside looking like the finest white trash that you may set your eyes on in this life time.

Moral: Not everything goes according to plan, make way for other options ALWAYS

Why kids will now be having their own children RIGHT NOW

I must say, this world is flat out F***ED. My girl, we'll call her "BLACK KNIGHT", just sent me this crazy YouTube clip that not only made me feel like I was watching pre-strippers, but made me PISSED that the parents of the "kids" just shouted and encouraged it (good parenting skills). It's flat out sick and now, the race card has been drawn and brought some folks back a few steps.......AGAIN.

Yes people, every race gets cards, and they have marks on them...with those marks you can help your race move forward with good actions and contribution to humanity, OR, you can YOINK it and pull your race back two steps for each horrid move.

This is a horrid move:

PRE-STRIPPER KIDS

Moral: There's a reason that they have parental advisory warnings on stuff....don't ignore that if you're a parent. I don't like 6 year old strippers

Conceded Men...

Something I've noticed as I've gotten older (not sure if this is a "trend" or the real deal), but there are WAY TOO many "men" out there who are conceded. My roommate brought this up last night after she had a dinner with her organization and met some new dude who was apparently FINE, but she said that everything that came out of his mouth, or any topic that other people were talking about would revert back to him. We've all met people like that before; folks that literally can't have a conversation because they end up talking about themselves or an experience that they have had before, something that happend to them, they don't listen to anyone else and when they do, they're trying to figure out how to get the subject back to them again. AWFUL. I literally can't deal with people like that.

In the past two months I've met my fair share of dudes that are like this and it might just be due to the area that I live in, the environment, or how they think that they're supposed to come off. They're confusing "confidence," with "cockiness" and there's a HUGE difference. There's just A LOT of Kanye West attitudes out there that I'm NOT cool with. If you're like that then FIX YO FACE SON! Get your life together!!!

Sidenote- I also don't like people that stare, or people that talk to themselves out loud in the office. Not ok with me AT ALL.

Moral: Not everyone is as well rounded as they should be, remember to LISTEN to OTHER PEOPLE in life. Not everything in the world revolves around what you know, or what you've learned.