Guess what the worst movie to come out this summer is...

THE MUMMY!!! Yup, if you haven't guessed by now, this film hasn't even come out yet but with my super sharp Miss Cleo predictions I'm pretty sure that I'm 100% correct about this. What could make you want to stay at home more? This movie, that's what.

I think that I watched the first one in the 90's or whenever that crap came out because I snuck in for free (what a waste of my time although it was free and wasting time, so I guess it's what I wanted). But once they came out with 2-13 it started to get a little out of control, kinda like R Kelly's trapped in the closet videos (I believe that there are 32 of those), find it on YouTube. But honestly guys, it's gotten to that point that I really can't STAND when bad movies come out. It's ALWAYS in the summer time, and also usually around the holidays. It's always the same recycled plots of crap. I blame all the "research" and "case studies" on what marketers think that audiences will like. I'm sick of it man.

Lets be honest though about one sad part of all these movies: Brandon Fraiser.

Can any of you honestly say that you've seen him in other movies and were BLOWN away in a good way? ............still thinking about it right?....it's because the answer is NO. The last time he did anything good, he wasn't saying anything and he was a caveman in Encino Man with Pauly Shore (WTF happened to him either?).

Moral: There's still crap out there, be careful that you don't get stuck watching it

Where have all the good FEMALE MC's gone!!!?????

My roommate and I were talking about something that's come up before in the last few years in the world of HIP HOP (yes I'm still obsessed with the concert from Sunday night, don't judge me). Anyways, we were talking about the dying breed of the TRUE female MC. Last time I checked MC Lyte and Queen Latifah were the ONLY good ones left that weren't throwing SEX around in everyones face. Then came Missy; I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE me some Missy. You can't sit still when one of her songs comes on, am I wrong? She has goofy yet great lyrics and she carries herself very well, she takes SMART risks. As for the OTHERS that have tried to step onto the scene...well I just don't know what to say except WOMP WOMP. It's like everyone is now just a shadow of the GOOD ones.

The record labels want only ONE female MC on their roster because if there were more than one (GOD forbid...said sarcastically), what would they do with themselves? How would they market them? Turns out that most of the ones that came out when I was in high school [ex: Lil Kim, Foxy Brown and Trina] were straight up HOES. Those aren't ladies, they're tricks that play games. And they constantly have to talk about themselves as if they're the sh**. This goes back to my theory about people that have to tell you something about themselves. If you have to tell others that you're a "player" or "ballin" etc. etc. then it just means that you're the EXTREME opposite of just that, you're a BAMMA (ask someone from MD/ DC/ VA for the definition of that word if you're lost).

If you know of ANY good female MC's out there, PLEASE let me know. I need one to bless my ears. Thanks folks! :-)

Moral: There is good in this world, you just have to seek it. Don't think that it will fall onto your lap overnight.

I miss REAL HIP HOP!!!!

Last night was probably one of THE BEST days and nights I've had in awhile. You're probably thinking to yourself, "oh Semra must have finally gotten some last night" and you're WRONG Scotty. In fact it was much more satisfying than S-E-X could EVER be....or really really close to the great kind ;-)

I got to go to the ROCK THE BELLS TOUR, all day festival full of old school and new school hip hop, but with better lyrics, vibes, people etc. etc. etc. There was ONE dirty south style beat that was played and MOS DEF was the person that did that so he could get away with it since he's so diverse with his style. No seriously, Mos Def is literally the ONLY person that's not from the dirty south that CAN make this seem as natural as Madonna's face lift.

Lets go over who I saw and why I can't go to ANY other mainstream concerts for a long time, this one took the ENTIRE CAKE fatty McGee!!!

- Tribe Called Quest

- Mos Def

- NAS

- The Pharcyde

- MethodMan & Redman

-GhostFace Killah & Raekwon

- De La Soul

- Rakim

- Immortal Technique

- Dead Prez

- Jay Electronica

- DJ Green Lantern

- Wale

- DJ Afrika Bambaataa

MANY MANY MORE, but those were the acts that I saw ALL DAY LONG.

Now tell me that I didn't go to sleep without a smile on my face knowing that I can change the world :-) (thanks NAS)

Moral: HIP HOP is one of the only cultures that can effectively impact the community, just like MOS DEF once said, "in order to know where hip hop is going, we gotta ask ourselves, where am I going, how am I doing?"

PORN.....4 gold stars from me

I'm sorry because I normally watch better quality shows than this, but I was watching the Tyra Banks show while I was online applying to my future education / employment. The show was about the porn industry and Tyra took two seperate groups of women; one side was women who were stay at home mothers or adult virgins and then the OTHER side where women who either LOOOOVE watching porn, or feel that its fine as long as they're with their boyfriends watching it etc.

Well as you can guess, the stay at home moms were not MILFs or anything like that, they flat out thought that porn was nasty and hated it; the other group felt totally different about it and liked it. The entire group was subjected to watching and rating different styles of porn together in a room while sipping on tea and they had an old man butler (AWESOME if I may say so myself). How awkward is that though? A room full of women who already are coming from different life choices and they're sitting in a living room sipping tea watching porn on a GIANT TV and rating it. I guess this beats out my senior year college finals party I hosted at my apartment titled: PIZZA, BEER & PORN. haha.....yes this is all true, I did this and I didn't own ANY porn at that time (I had to borrow it from my guy friends who owned endless amounts of it....now.....the tables have turned and the industry has my credit card. WOMP WOMP WOMP WHAAAAAA

Anyways, they did an analysis of the porn industry (which I've done before in my womens study course while in college; there was a section where we covered the porn industry believe it or not). Tyra invited women who direct or write scripts for the porn industry, or produce their own style of porn. Then the coolest job ever was this chick who came in and RATES PORN FOR A LIVING!!! I'm sure that she's completely immune to it with everything that she's watched, but she's one of those people that sit on a panel for the PORN INDSTURY AWARD SHOWS that they host in LA and Vegas (surprised???.....exactly, not at all right?). I'm sure that she gets paid a pretty penny too because the porn industry IS one of the countries highest paying "fields." It may not seem to be "morally" right, but there's a reason that it's making so much money in this completely "pure" style country we live in.

Moral: go watch some porn, it won't hurt you and at least it keeps you from going out and getting an STD or worse, AIDS.

White people don't age well compared to other races....

There has been a massive amount of news coverage on Mc.Cain's age (he's 71 folks), and the more I've seen him interviewed on late night talk shows I've realized something that I never really focused on until now.....white people (particularly men) don't age well. I'm not talking about anyone that has whitish skin, I'm talking about full blown whitties here. You may be saying to yourself, "Semra, you're white you know" and YES, thank you for this amazing thought driven statement, I am white (even though my family in Turkey has olive skin and I got the white gene from my moms family in Norway). I'll age just fine, because I've got all sorts of crazy genes in my blood. If I were Irish or something, I wouldn't be able to say the same thing.....again I digress....my focus is on white men, specifically John McCain. I think that he's gotten older in the past 8 months, and not just a little bit, it's as if he's gained 4 years in age in the past few months. I'm not sure that he'll make it to November for our votes.

This is extremely interesting to me, especially when you look at someone like Pharrell Williams who hasn't aged over the age 16 for the past 20 years (did you know that he's actually 45?). He will always look like a little boy. I'm not sure that I like that either though, if you were to decide on someone that doesn't age EVER and one that ages per second, which one would you pick? You're probably thinking of that scene in Big Daddy where Adam Sandler goes, "but he's OLD....with his old balls and old D*** and he's just OLD" and that's probably going to be the first veto (old man)....and.......you probably SHOULD pick someone that doesn't age. Although then folks would think that you're their parent and not their partner, so is THAT fun? Nope. I think I've given you a no win question here, so I'll give you an easy question and answer:

What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!!!!!

Moral: Rick James always wins..............always, except when it comes to drugs, apparently he LOST to that one.

Bay Bayz kids can NOT go to the movies, cuz I SAY SO!!!

So, as I'm in my recovery stages of being robbed of internal organs (aka: my GB....."Gallbladder"), I would simply LOOOOVE to share my story and pet peeves with you. My top pet peeve happened to me while I was trying to watch WANTED at the theatre that's closest to my apartment this weekend. I'm not a big fan of public theatres for several reasons:

1) loud ass teenagers that act SOOO much harder than they really are (I'm always waiting for an adult to beat the SH** out of one of them for talking sh** to the adult, I hope I have my camera with me when that goes down) YOU TUBE...YES PLEASE!

2) the price of ANY food item once you get inside

3) the fat person that ends up sitting next to me eating Chipotle burritos making the theatre STANK LIKE SH**!

4) folks STILL talking on their cell phones, or ANSWERING them when the movies start (not during previews cuz I could really give a sh** when those are playing for the first 20 minutes)

5) the fact that there are COMMERCIALS being played instead of upcoming movie previews inside the theatre....apparently you CAN'T escape them when you leave your TV at home either.

But the TOP reason that I HATE going to the theatre is when some ghetto ass folks bring their new born baby to a rated R film at 10pm on a week night! 'You've GOT to be sh**ing me' you might be saying out loud to yourself right now (or you can relate to this right along with me)....but YES folks, I encountered one of "those" moments where my jaw dropped as her and her "man" looked for a seat in the dark to watch WANTED with me and my friend that was with me. It's the same feeling you get when you're on an airplane and you get that middle seat for three and there's a person falling asleep on your shoulder droiling on one side, and on the other is an EXTREMELY fat person that can't keep it all together in their seat.....SAME FEELING folks.

Now a good friend of mine reminded me that 'stereotypes are great time savers' and honestly at moments like THAT ONE, I have to say...the black race lost 2 points from me again. Somebody please make these points back up so the races can even out again....throw in a white trash piece of news...ANYTHING, just please stop making the, "bringing your new born baby to a voilent rated R film late at night to a movie theatre" a predicted action that happens when I go out to see a movie. I BEG YOU!!!!

On an extremely random side-note, Puffy was doing shots of Vodka with Ellen D. here's the clip:

PUFFY AND ELLEN TAKING SHOTS

Moral: Stop living up to your stereotypes, no matter what race you are....STOP IT

Who's uglier than Lil Wayne? And new Reality show Queen Bee's

Ok, so there have ALWAYS been ugly talented people in this world. It's part of what humans are all about, it's God's balance. So when an attractive person truly has talent, we can all be in complete shock and say, "talent AND beauty!? what a double threat" hahaha ;-)

This leads me into the world of hip hop and all the ugly folks that have paved this path. I will start with that guy that everyone remembers from childhood who sang "Do the Humpty Hump."

Folks, there was a time in Hip Hop where artists didn't have a bunch of models in the background hanging over cars in this half porn fantasy world, it was just a regular guy with the thick black reading glasses with a plastic nose attached and sometimes a thick handle-bar mustash too. There were truly ugly yet powerful rappers a well, prime example is KRS-One. That's a good one to start with, unlike LL COOL J, who as we all know doesn't need to borrow Lil Mama's LIP GLOSS (I still can't believe that's a song). And lets not forget about our lil homie Lil Wayne, with his creative lyrics but nasty grimmy looks. He looks like a troll with dreads. HANDS DOWN. Please don't argue with me about this one because I'm right.

Onto other crazy news, I just read this morning in the Washington Post about a new program (more so another REALITY TV show, shocker!), that's called Queen Bee. Prize money is $25,000. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not A LOT of money especially with the amounts that other reality TV shows are running up against. I just find it rediculous in all honesty. But I DO love to watch other peoples drama unfold etc. This show is for girls gone bad that try to do good and win the money from that. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I already thought that there was a show about that (minus the cash) called the BAD GIRLS CLUB.........

I'm not impressed.

Moral: People will do anything for money....ANYTHING!

smoke on DEEZ....

That's right bitches!!! Rasta's pull through with their easy ways again in Italy this time! You know, this is the type of stuff that makes me really happy in life. It's the little things in life right? Italy's supreme Court of Cassation has ruled that members of the Rastafari faith can possess 'abundant' quantities of marijuana because smoking it is an integral part of their religion.

The ruling was made in response to an appeal by an Italian against his sentence of one year and four months, as well as a 4,000-euro fine, for possession of some 50g of marijuana inflicted by a Perugia court in 2004.

The Rastafari faith, the court pointed out, allows its member to smoke even 10g of marijuana a day.

Now, lets ALL plan a trip to Italy and smoke like Rastafarians!!!! Let your hair grow out some more too.

What a great ruling.....HAPPY GREEN DAY EVERYONE!!

SMOKE-IIITH!!!!!!!

Moral: Don't rule out what mother earth provides. It's not worth it, she'll always win.

I'm turning into an 80 year old woman right before your very eyes...

I've noticed something about myself in my mid-twenties. Mostly that I'm a blunt asshole, who tries to be sensitive sometimes since I'm still sensitive myself,...but I'm going to be honest with you; it's VERY VERY HARD to be that nice to everyone around me that doesn't deserve any type of kindness. This leads me into the 80 year old woman I've become. I'm not bitter, I just speak bluntly. With all the fakeness and sugar-coated words and sentences that come out of most folks mouths, I'm trying to change that. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not walking around hating every person before they say or do something because "I'm not a judger" BUT, once you start to paint your true colors by actions and sentences that come out your mouth, that's when I DO get to judge you because most of the time it's either fake, or completely ignorant. Those who have the least amount of exposure to anything in the world are the ones that I'm REALLY talking about. I'm speaking on some general tips right now, but I don't want to put certain folks that I personally know on blast, so I won't.

I am going to bed MUCH earlier than I wish I would (still not sure exactly why except that stupid people that I work with on a daily DRAIN me physically and mentally). Then the other day I was walking home in the rain in my flip flops and completely almost busted my ass several times, so I had to shuffle step like an old woman with arthritis (def not cool when you're only 26 and acting like this). So I already know what type of old lady I'll become, haha.

I wonder what the world would be like if everyone was a blunt as 7 year olds are. Can you imagine? Everyone being that blunt? I'm not sure if I'd like that honestly, maybe that's why so many folks sugar-coat everything,...who knows. All I know is that I'm not going to come down to that level since everyone else already has.

Moral: DON'T FAKE THE FUNK, it's not healthy

Sex = God

That's right folks...God and Sex go hand in hand. There was this article that I was reading this morning which was SOOOOOO rediculous that I HAD to share it with you. It goes a little something like this:

Sex in Crisis - by Dagmar Herzog is a book that explores the religious connection between sex and sexual acts among the Christian faith. It's basically talking about how conservative religious groups are condoning sex (as long as you're straight and in a marriage), and encourage all woman to drop everything that they're doing if their husbands need sex at that very moment no matter how awkward the place is etc. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that happening among all male dominated religions accross the globe to women already?? According to my book, it was called sexist as well as a slave-act. Look up all the rapes that happened to the African American slaves brought to the US of A. Ahhhh yes folks, we can't forget our fine history here, as well as all the Native Americans that were first thrown and killed off their own land. Land of the free my ass. Anyways I digress...

Current TV said that, "The conservative right are using the (literally) touchy feely language of sex-positivism to demonstrate how much they 'value' and 'respect' women, and acknowledge that sex is a vital (and maybe even fun!) part of relationships... as long as its not DIRTY AND SINFUL. In conservative right-speak, "prostitution demeans the value of women" equals "so lets withdraw AIDS outreach efforts to prostitutes in developing countries, cause they shouldn't be doing it anyway." I know....my jaw dropped too when I read that folks. I can't believe that there are actually humans out there and think this way, it's AMAZING, in a horrible way. This is the ignorance of the world and mind-set that we all live in.

The other GREAT part of this whole thing was that the, "best of all is the news that good wives who put out wherever, whenever (and whatever time of the month) will protect their husband's spiritual purity by preventing any 'need' for porn or masturbation".

I SH** YOU NOT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, this is stuff that some religious conservatives really believe. So that's that. Man's satisfied, woman's satisfied, God's satisfied - and Jesus is coming again.

hahahahahahaha...this is why I can't be religious, it's people who think just like that and believe that with all their heart that they're right. I can't do it!!!!!

Moral: Don't believe everything that is spit in your ear...EVER. Question everything, especially when it comes to religion. There is no easy answer.

I F***ing HATE my job

So like most of you out there, I work a regular 9-5. I fortunately get to work in the industry that I studied and enjoyed working in, but my position is FAR from what I have done for the radio world and it's even further from any sort of promotion. But guess what guys...apparently less than 39% of people in my age group like/ are satisfied with their jobs. Now the economy SUCKS here. The value of our American dollar has gone WAY down (hense why folks aren't traveling to Europe in the summer time like almost everyone else was doing every summer for the past 4 decades).

Anyfart, I'm not surprised by that statistic one bit considering the same responses I get from close friends working in similar or totally different industries; but I AM upset that I'm only sticking around because nobody else is really hiring that I'm interested in working for, and I don't wanna job hunt while I don't have a job, and I don't want to loose my health-care (a whole other subject that I could and will blog about since our "system" SUCKS when it comes to that mess). As you know, I'm pretty much stuck here due to this operation coming up that could cost up to $10,000 - $18,000 just to get this procedure done (big dent in the pockets if you're not covered by health care). It's really out of control and it's one thing after another it seems.

It really sucks that there's no union for 20 somethings 'just cause'. We should create a "just cause" union so we can do whatever the hell we wanted to do. I know that in this country most come here because it's the "land of opportunity" and people want to live out their own "American Dreams" which usually ends up with people wanting fancy cars and mansions. How typical is that sh**? It's all the same f***ing dream dudes and dudettes! Just be satisfied if you're HAPPY at your job. That's what I say. Don't pop out kids if you can't afford them, or just get on some BC and condoms (you can never be too safe) especially since the STD and AIDS rates in this town are out of control. There's many reasons why kids should NOT come into this world. But the ones that WOULD listen to what I just said are either not reading this blog, or are too ignorant as it is and have daddy issues and pop out kids like Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors (am I wrong?...exactly, let me continue).

Here's a list of some movies that helped me and can help you if you're feeling like your HATE the SH** out of your job:

1) Office Space

2) Old School

3) Kill Bill (Vol. 1 & 2)

4) Nine to Five

Moral: Only stop working where you're at if you can mooch off your family / friends (they must be well off and willing if you pick this plan), and please stop having children if you're not fit to be a parent, it's such a basic thing to say, but TRUST me, it's worth the wait.

Oscar nominations and all the crap that follows it...

So there's been a lot of talk about Heath Ledger and his possible nomination in the up coming Oscars for his last role in the new BATMAN movie. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but has anyone in the history of the Oscar world ever received one from playing a character in a Batman movie? I mean I'm a batman fan, but I've never thought to myself, "oh yeah, Oscars, BIG TIME" ever. So how come just because the guy passed away are they trying to nominate him? Out of pure respect for his untimely death, or is it all the media that followed him? My mom had no clue who he was, but due to the story being covered as if it was part of this earths rotation on TV, she quickly learned everything about him.

I know that I'm making a kinda big deal about this whole thing, but it could be due to the fact that I hate media, although I work in it, it's a big LOVE/HATE relationship going on over here. It keeps things interesting, but his death is not HUGE NEWS folks...and nobody has been thinking about his death except those that were close to him personally. The only reason anyone brought it up in the first place was because of the "news" coverage that stations would base their whole show on. RIDICULOUS

Morel: It's not cool to be a follower of dead people,...EVER

How dumb are American's?? Apparently SUPER DUMB

So as I'm trying to wake up under this horrid fluorescent light in my office, I start glancing at the news trying to pick today's topic for all you dedicated readers out there, when I stumbled onto something so re-donk-u-lous that I had to stop and ask myself, ARE AMERICANS REALLY THAT DUMB?

Here's what brought this whole thing up. I read that gun advocates in the fine state of Georgia were trying to carry guns into one of the largest airports in the USA as visitors ( Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport ) because of a new GA gun law down there (which doesn't allow them to do this, they just think that they should be allowed to). Yes people THAT IS how dumb Americans are. I'm pretty sure that I don't need to prove it in any other way but with this bit of news.

This also brings up the overall "happiness is a warm gun" phenomenon that our citizens seem to support without question. As if they've never read a statistic about guns in America EVER. Let me just make this one thing clear...we should develop a COMMON SENSE test for all citizens in the USA to pass in order to know who has the right to roam the streets possibly with a gun (which isn't needed, this is developed by fear tactics that our government has conveniently produced in our minds over time). I'm not trying to get into a conspiracy theory or anything like that, I'm just saying it seems pretty obvious to me.

Anyfart, before I get too deep into through and my own feelings about gun ownership etc. I would just like to remind you about how dumb most of America is....the last thing we need are dumb people all over our country with guns in their hands where ever they go.

Moral: Get over your gun, it's not cute

Little Miss Amy Winehouse

So, as I was BEAT from yesterday at work...I decided to kick it at me casa and watch this over-done birthday celebration for Nelson Mandela on VH1. Now I'm NOT knocking on Nelson Mandela AT ALL, I'm knocking on VH1 trying to over do and market his birth with a bunch of large named bands to perform in the name of what he's done. I mean the man is 90 years old after all and that's impressive enough to me. I guess they wanted to plug his other 8 non profit foundations that he's started as well. Fine because they're all for good causes, I just don't like VH1 sometimes, that's all. I guess it's my own personal beef with them and those stupid ass reality shows they throw up every season.

But what I was REALLY surprised about was the Amy Winehouse performance. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE ME SOME AMY...but I also know her drug habits and just like Whitney when she was on crack with Bobby, your voice WILL NOT SOUND GOOD LIVE. The studio pulled a Britney on her (as in, she sounds sooooo much better in the studio than in person), here's proof from her performance last night for Mandela's birthday.

AMY WINEHOUSE

It's just REALLY hard for me to watch her little twig frame try and dance, or just kinda shake around the stage as if she's in a long on-going seizure. Just very difficult to watch PERIOD. Then if you catch her eyes in some of the camera shots, you see how lost she looks, it's as if she has no idea how she got on stage or what she's supposed to be doing. It was like watching a drunk person at a Karaoke bar...you know, the ones with trannies and all sorts of fun stuff to look at.

That's all, I just couldn't believe how she looked....and is that REALLY her own hair? Or are they extensions? There's no way that that's her own hair, it's re-donk-u-lous.

Moral: Don't do drugs