So yes, we're finally reaching that on-going topic that hits every magazine cover during the summer time, the topic of LOVE. OR more so, "relationships" since the trends and style of dating are contantly changing per generation. There was a pretty accurate version that hit the NY stands recently (which I will attach for you to cut and paste and read)
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/08/fashion/08love.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5070&en=02c36df8ec39ff6b&ex=1213848000&emc=eta1
The part that wasn't mentioned in the article was the portion where people start to feel the pressure of marriage later in life (hence the early 30's freak-out) when people around their 30's re-evaluate their relationships, or life choices and want someone to stand there by their side as a partner, or for men, they freak out and start trying to find their wife because they've been focusing on their career and ignoring the time to take out for a relationship because it's just "too time consuming". All of which just seems incrediably interesting to me, I find it sooooo interesting that MEN (sorry I won't male bash because I'm not into catagorizing everyone from one group when it's specific ones in my mind), get to a certain part in their life and then go, "hmmm now that I have a house and stuff and my career is in line, I guess I should start wife hunting" and then they just start looking for one that has potential to be a wife to them, but it's not even anything to do with the woman they pick, it could have been ANY woman that had the slightest potential with a V-jay-jay. To the guy it's more so just something that they set to GET DONE and cross off their "life-plan" LIST and I have a HUGE F-ing problem with that. It's very obvious to the AWARE females out there; as for those types of men that do that mess, it's just really sad and they're the reason for the divorce rates rising, because MOST (not all, but most) get into a marriage for all the WRONG reasons and don't know ALL the parts that go along with it and then it becomes something that they can't "control" and they start to distance themselves from the woman that they "picked" and then it turns into a big ol' mess.
Now please don't think that I'm knocking marriages because I'm not. My parents have been married for 37 years, and like all couples they've had their moments, but they didn't get into the marriage due to "baby reasons" or "money" (cuz trust me, they weren't on the BLING BLING side of life), they got married because they became eachothers bestfriends, actually LOVED eachother, respected that and never fought their feelings and all that jazz. I just don't see that happening a lot with my generation. I see people supporting (at times) and getting used to being around someone for a long period of time and then they just figure that that's what they have to do since they've been together for X amount of years, but it's almost like there's nothing more to it than that for them.
I know that nothings perfect, I know that I don't expect perfection from the person I end up with, but there is more to it then just making decisions too. I just hope that I'm not the only one that realizes that we CAN still go on dates and have that old fashioned style that everyone seems to be skipping before they freak eachother. We may be oversaturated with sex and have almost zero feelings towards it now, but we also can change all of that with how we HANDLE ourselves.
MORAL: Don't judge a book by it's cover, you may end up marrying it by mistake and regret it later
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2 comments:
semrific post, sem. However, I'm not totally with you on the males "wife-hunting." I know countless females that spend their LIVES (not just an early 30s freakout period) boyfriend hunting. As in, they don't want to get to know a guy, decide they like each other and move on into a relationship. They just want to be with someone (anyone) to avoid being alone.
I find that phenomenon way more sad and disturbing than dudes realizing they've found success and happiness in many aspects of their life, and are ready to share it with another person. It seems like that's just a natural way to grow up.
What is even more disturbing is the resoning for this pressure to get hitched as soon as you escape college. Success is seen in typical life stages... college, job, house & spouse, immediately followed by offspring and I AM NOT having any of that! Life should be your own original story, not a followed checklist of items to accomplish. The most successful people I know are the people that followed their heart, had adventures and experiences, and took risks outside of the norm. My parents met when they were young, went their separate ways, then yrs later found they were living in the same city again and fell for eachother. They didnt get married until they were over 30 and didnt have kids until after that. Moral of my first blog: a square peg doesnt fit into a circle hole, dont force it. If you arent in love dont get married. If you dont want kids, fuck it dont have them. If you hate how typical men act then dont date one, wait for a man that is writing his own original story.
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