Monday, June 30, 2008

WHY AMERICANS ARE SO F-ING FAT


So our country SUCKS when it comes to anything in proportions, especially when it comes to food. I kid you not when I say that I saw someone eating a Philly Cheese Steak with a doughnut hanging out the side of it like a greasy teenager with a zit that's about to burst. I almost threw up in my mouth trying to watch that fat ass eat that so called "sandwich." My question is, where the F did he get it from? OR, did he just make it up on his own and if so, does he work for Domino's Pizza? Aren't they the ones that make pizza where it's like tuna fish sandwich on pizza!? I'm not sh**ing you either, I saw a commercial at 1am on TV one time for a pizza that had something like that on there. I swear the marketing board for Domino's Pizza is just full of high as sh** college students that are sitting at a board room table going, "dude....have you ever had peanut butter and jelly on Pizza? It's AWESOME!" They have the appitiate and appeal of a pregnant woman.

My favorite was this morning on the TODAY SHOW where they had a salad "specialist" talk about how salads are making American's fat. Actually b****, it's all the F-ing eggs, bacon and buckets of creamy dressing, not the green stuff that's making folks fat, add in steak and there's another 500 calories to the meal. And the host was in shock, saying all the typical fake things a morning talk-show host would say that would make me wanna jump through the screen and attack her simple chipper a**. I remember in college when kids would try to cover their salads with as much stuff to drown out the flavor of the green leafs in there...by the time they were done putting stuff on it, it looked like a giant lucky charm leprechaun. YUM.

Anyways, American's are fat as f*** because we simply never heard the word "portion" we only heard, "that plate better be clean!" so I blame the parents that always put too much food on the plates for their kids, no wonder there's such a huge problem with obese children in this country....how did they slip on the "no means no" motto they used to teach so strongly about other things kids would face? Lets put that motto back onto the plates of little American children. Because I'm tired of seeing fat ones roam the streets with the parents claiming that it's just baby fat....ummm how bout no Scott.....Scotty no, Scotty don't.


Moral: dieting and working out will make your fat ass much healthier, no means NO :-)

2 comments:

shell said...

Worst foods I have seen: philly cheese steak with bacon, that fried turkey club at bojangles, anything from hardees that piles cow on cow on pig, and dennys smothered fries that come with ranch dressing. These are a few of the reasons we Americans are more likely to be fatty fat fat than healthy. Dominos had me at stuffed crust pizza. My stomach just growled.

Jenny Craig and weight watchers are so popular because they are spreading the novel break through that portion size matters! So wait, one slice of pizza is better than the entire pizza in one sitting? I dont get it? Durr Durr Durr Durr. I know where my curves came from, pizza and beer (niether in moderation). Bottom line, pretty much anything you cook at home is 199% healthier than anything you will eat from a restaurant. So pack your lunch fatty, eat dinners that you cook at home, and if it came out of a deep fryer just say no. Live by that set of rules and you only have to worry about genetics... which I personally blame for my wide ass.

Doctor said...

this is exactly what happens when you let the tv and wii raise your kids...

take their fat azzes to the dayum park!